Aku masih hidup

It's just undeniable that ever since I broke-up with him, my life getting so boring day by day. Do you know why? I don't have anyone to play sms, calling-calling or play spoil anymore. Hahahaha! My mama said that she will always be there for me...but does she know that I want a guy not a mom? I didn't mean that I don't want her is just...you are in the middle age of late teenager (hahahaha (^^)!) and this moment is when you want to have a boyfriend for sure. (OMG!) I have a very hectic schedule sometimes where all you always be is in the hospital...working!

I seldom going out to the mall, hang-out with friends or just simply do some window shopping. I don't have much friend to hang-out with and that include friends with a gender of male! In my phone...I can actually count with my fingers how many guy friend I have.

In the hospital...it's quite awkward befriend with your colleagues especially for me. Mama, my aunts and uncles always persuade me on getting a doctor as my bf but I just can't accept a doc to become a friend of mine. Maybe because I have my own bad point of view with this species call themselves doc. You already work with them, you know the rhythm of their work, you know how jerk and annoying they would become especially when they are on-call...so how can I put myself to be open with this docs? Well...not all of them like that but that small number of nice docs majority already married! Why??????????????????

To choose someone such as Pembantu Kesihatan? Majority they still like to play around. Thinking that they still kids...with that kind of brain and mentality...how could you choose them as your bf? Hello...I try to find a bf that I can make my husband of course. Stop playing around to know each other then one day you break-up. Getting sick of that kind of situations!!!

So...I'm very grateful because still able to breathe till this very moment I'm writing this. Eventhough people always said...let the time fix everything but...till when do I have to wait? I hope my dreams come true...to be a good wife and a good mother. But is there tomorrow for me...so that I can continue waiting for him to come?

Hmmm...then...don't lose hope! InsyaAllah...Allah already make a great story for my short life...thank you Allah!